Because you may need advanced skills to support your loved ones
Behaviour is the language of emotion, and emotion is the boss of the brain. When intense emotions come up, they take over our brain, and therefore our body and actions. The logical part of our brain (prefrontal cortex) essentially disconnects until we are able to get back to a state of calm, so we can't think logically, problem-solve, or stop ourselves from acting on those emotions. This is true for everyone, at any age, but even more so before a person reaches approximately age 25, the stage at which the prefrontal cortex has developed fully.
If you have a loved one who has trouble managing big emotions and displays big behaviours and/or withdraws, they need your help. How to best support them often involves using a different approach to caregiving than is widely known. It focuses on emotions first. You as a caregiver would speak with a therapist to recognise how your own emotions impact your behavioural reactions, which in turn influences how your loved one responds to you. You learn advanced caregiving skills to shift the problematic patterns between caregiver and loved one.
Learn how to be an emotion coach. This will:
- co-regulate your loved ones through intense emotions, which means behaviour doesn't have to speak for them
- help your child/youth learn skills and grow connections in the brain so they can regulate themselves
- strengthen your relationship with your loved one
- encourage cooperation and reduce conflict in the home
Bonus! Emotion coaching works to help regulate anyone of any age, so we can all be a better support to our family, friends, and community
The goal of emotion coaching isn't to make sure that your loved one is feeling good - it's to make sure they're good at feeling.